Getting what we want versus what we need.

I stumbled upon this this morning and it really resonated.  It reminds me that there is a purpose, a connectivity that we don’t always like or understand at first.

In my youth, I respected the world and life.  I needed nothing but peace of heart.

And yet I changed despite myself and believed in the world’s lies.  The world seemed to know all the truth, and promised to make me happy.

I me asked for wealth, that I might have power;  I was given poverty, that I might find my inner strength.

I asked for fame so that others would know me.  I was given obscurity, that I might know myself.

I asked for a person to love so that I might never be alone.  I was given a life of a hermit, that I might learn to accept myself.

I asked for power, that I might achieve;  I was given weakness, that I might learn to obey.

I asked for health, that I might lead a long life;  I was given infirmity, that I might appreciate each minute.

I asked  Mother Earth for strength, that I might have my wayI was given weakness, that I might feel the need for Her.

I asked to live happily, that I might enjoy life;  I was given life, that I might live happily.

I received nothing I asked for, yet all my wishes came true.

Despite myself and the what the world said I should be, my dreams were fulfilled.  I am richly blessed more than I ever hoped.

Billy Mills, Oglala Lakota

Enjoy the day, the season, the gifts that we get despite what we ask for.











noun: recovery; plural noun: recoveries

  1. a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.

“signs of recovery in the housing market”

  1. the regaining of substances in usable form, as from refuse material or waste products
  2. the extraction of usable substance out of waste.


People still pose questions about my recovery.  I continue to have residual issues with my left side and so I limp (I’m working on eliminating that) and my left arm and hand continue to have a mind of their own.  Any rehabbing at this point is on my own, forcing myself to use my limbs as much as possible.  People often comment on how well I have recovered.  It’s true, I’m just a little more of a perfectionist.  I want more.  I’ve accepted that things are different but I will not accept that I cannot fix my walk and get more hand and arm use.

I broke down and joined a writing group.  I’m going mostly to meet people and avoid isolation but it is also dedicated time to just write.  I have toyed with writing about the stroke in more than just disconnected blog posts so I am trying to organize and capture things that might be helpful to the survivors of stroke or even for those around them.  Everyone is impacted when a stroke happens.  So as I did some surface level research, I came across the basic definition of recovery.  I love the last one:  “extracting something useful out of waste”.  It makes me even more determined to make something positive out of what is otherwise a devastating experience.  I have written before about the gifts that this has brought to me such as patience, vulnerability, awareness on so many levels, but it may be time to extract more usable substance for others’ benefit.  So, it was either a book or a standup routine.  Maybe I’ll do both.

As the winter and coldness approach, I must find ways to stay focused.  Writing helps me with this too.