Stand up. Fall over. repeat.

As I struggle to get back my voice (figuratively), I have joined Toastmasters international. I have met some wonderful, terribly funny folks. The chapter I’ve joined focuses on humor so it’s a good fit. I am starting to gain confidence again. Enough so that I have decided to participate in a standup routine for our spring membership interest drive. I’ve been trying to decide how to proceed comedically. Typically I am just a spewer of random stuff that is sometimes perceived as funny. To have an actual monologue though is slightly more intimidating. I figure I will joke about a familiar humorous topic in my life, my stroke recovery. I started to jot down some ideas and got tripped up on the idea of stroke “survivor” . I know that it didn’t kill me (Sorry…spoiler alert) but the idea that I’m a survivor makes it sound like I won immunity voted someone else off the stroke island, and visited my dates’ hometowns. (Wrong reality show, whoops). If waking up each morning for the last three years and 1 month being pissed off at my brain failure is surviving, well, “guilty”. But there are more courageous folks out there who have experienced health scares and are the real survivors. I mean, think of all of those flu survivors. Badasses. And the mumps, measles, polio, malaria and all those other diseases easily prevented by vaccine unless science scares you, that have experienced a recent rebirth. You go, childhood illness survivors.
I am , in my head, not a survivor as much as a stubborn maintainer of status quo. Bite me stroke. I have the immunity idol and will continue walking and falling until it’s too much. I survive a bad attitude is all.
I’m not trying to be humble, I just don’t see that I have struggled much compared to many others.
I might still get my own survivor buff and form alliances with the hot women on the island. If you have come back from a really bad paper cut, I will vote your butt off of the island. That’s not surviving, that’s just dealing with life.
The finale will have me flown by helicopter to the studio where I’ll meet up with the other Team Stroke members and reminisce about the unfair challenges designed for the stable, balanced, two sided folks. Survivors or whiners? You be the judge.
This is what happens when I have too much time on my hands. perhaps it would be a funny stand up routine? Who knows. Stay posted for date and time of stroke survivor, coming to a city near you!

–Kim

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